Crowley Webb Blog

Facebook being useful to society. It’s a Christmas miracle!

By Chris Muldoon

This morning, I hopped on the old FB for my daily dose of mundane information. What’sHerFace set a high-score in Bejeweled Blitz? Terrific. KidIBarelyKnow is now a fan of “Not being on fire.” Good for him. But wait, what’s this “Please do this for the soldiers, will take 10 seconds” thing people are talking about? And for a moment, social media wasn’t completely pointless.

The group was about a pretty sweet website called LetsSayThanks.com. You get to pick a free postcard to send to a member of the military stationed overseas. I know how pumped up I was to get mail in college – so it must be a thousand times more exciting when you’re stuck in the middle of Afghanistan. Especially during the holidays.

So, please do this for the soldiers, it will take 10 seconds. Ok, maybe more like 35 seconds (you gotta choose your favorite design, after all). But it’s a super good deed, and a lot more productive than taking the “What Greek God Are You?” quiz anyway.

The constant struggle 3.

by matt low

I’ve kept this one in for way too long. On which planet exactly is this “Olive Garden” located? Certainly it’s not of our world, what with a multitude of bizarre humanoids patronizing – and endlessly raving about – what seems to be a mediocre eatery serving Italian-like food.  Yet, I am viewing mystifying commercials such as this, this, and this here on Earth. Please help.  

The poor decade without a name.

by matt low

As I sit here and digest the last bit of turkey from last week’s feast, I’m realizing what I always do this time of year – the year is almost over. But what I didn’t realize right away – and still sort of comes as a shock to me – is that we’re actually closing out a decade.

How did I miss this?

Sure, it’s been 2009 all year. But really, apocalyptic panic aside, does this feel at all like 1999? To be fair, that was an end of a decade, century, and millennium. Well, what about 1989?  I remember quite the hoopla surrounding the 80s coming to a close and the 90s beginning. Going back further and I was too young to notice, and then not alive.

My point is, this just feels like any other end to a year. Why no real excitement? Are we still burnt out from the millennium? Was all the hype surrounding the ends of past decades due to the fact the millennium was approaching?

Or is it just simple branding?

Come on, think about it. It’s been nearly ten years and we still have yet to name this guy. We’ve certainly tried. The “Os” was kicked around for a while. The “Zeros.” The “Two Thousands,” has always sounded silly to me. Oh, and my favorite, the “Aughts.” Nothing stuck. So it seems fitting we’re all just letting this nameless decade fade away, right? As I said earlier, it’s been 2009 all year. Yet, I hadn’t really taken notice that a decade was ending until all those best-of-the-decade lists started popping up here and there. And sadly, that’s all they’re being called. 

Now just because it lacks a name, doesn’t mean it’s been meaningless. On the contrary, we’ve seen a lot of great things happen over the last ten years. But when we refer to any of them, what can we say aside from using that actual year? “Back in the _____s, when Obama first took office.” How are we ever going to fill that blank? What did they do back at the last turn of the century? My guess is they didn’t think about stuff like this.

So, for now, why not the Nameless decade? It’s kind of cool and mysterious, which we all thought the new millennium would be anyway. If you have any better ideas, feel free to pass them along. Until then, see you in the Teens.

 

Folgers. Not fresh.

by Katie Hazel

Even if you’re like me and don't remember the original Folgers “Peter Comes Home” Christmas commercial from 1982, a quick look at YouTube will show you it is far superior to this season’s remake. I would love to have been in the room when it was decided that rather than come up with an original idea, it made more sense to mangle an idea that everyone loved from almost three decades ago. The new spot doesn't capture the same spirit – or make as much sense – as the 80s version, and kind of makes me uncomfortable enough to steer clear of Folgers when I see it in the supermarket.

Check out the old and new spots, if you haven't seen them.

 

No, thank you, Thanksgiving.

by Liz Maimone

In honor of the holiday, I decided to compile a list of all the things for which I’m most thankful. They’re kind of in order.

1. Paul Posluszny's neck
2. TLC no longer funding Jon Gosselin’s Ed Hardy obsession
3. Seltzer water
4. Tom's fennel toothpaste
5. Taylor Swift songs (I know)
6. Chelsea Handler’s mouth
7. Matt Low's beard
8. Unusually tall men (okay, this is really numero uno)

Oh yeah, and my family and friends.

How about you?

Tuesday is the new Monday.

by Liz Maimone

Hi. Remember me? Sorry I haven’t come around lately, but rest assured, I’ve missed you too. So here’s the thing, Best Thing I Found On A Monday, is, well, no longer. (People who are disappointed besides Mike Gluck: 1.5.) I want to do something new. I’m not sure what, but you’ll be the first to know when I figure it out. Sure, I could keep BTIFOAM and start something fresh as well, but that would require too much work on my part. I’d rather spend my days trying to get a reality show. Sorry. Plus, let’s be honest, that puppy has been sucking lately. So let’s just remember the good times and move on. (Cue breakup music.)

Whatever great new idea I come up with – and trust me, it will be amazing – will be seen on Tuesdays. Why? Because I like Tuesdays. They’re not Monday and they’ve been pretty good to me lately. I’ll see you soon. I swear.

stopforeclosurewny.org is where the heart is.

While moving is most often an exciting and happy event, this isn’t the case for those being forced from their homes. And with unemployment as bad as it is today, more and more people are facing foreclosure. Those affected are scared, angry, and confused. That’s where the Foreclosure Prevention Network of WNY comes in.

This dedicated group of not-for-profit agencies was founded just this year to help people dealing with foreclosure. They assess each client’s situation and determine the best plan of action for keeping their home. And they do it for free. They just needed to get the word out. That’s where Crowley Webb comes in.

As helping people who help people is always a top priority, we were happy to lend a hand to this worthy cause. With outdoor as our primary medium, we created bus shelters and had them placed in neighborhoods that experience the highest rates of foreclosure in Western New York. In the end, the work we did gave us a good feeling, as well as a greater appreciation for where we head each night after work.

The constant struggle 2.

by matt low

What do a group of funky dressmakers, a girl with questionable hair attempting to out dance some dudes in what seems to be a parking garage, a young, up-and-coming crap rock band, and a couple fighting in a bistro have at all to with BlackBerry? I was hoping you’d tell me. Throw in a rock climber and an architect, and I’m still confused.

The constant struggle.

by matt low

Here’s a clever notion for all you Frankenstein’s monster’s plastic head manufacturers with product on your hands that you just can’t seem to move. Package each with a pair of hands and market the set as lawn decorations – you know, as if Frankenstein’s monster is menacingly emerging from the consumer’s lawn. What fun!

Oh, wait. That idea is taken. And it’s a terrible one.

Now, I’ve encountered some logic-defying Halloween decorations over the years. Just visit the seasonal section of any local retailer. But really, this one just may take the orange and black Funfetti. Are we supposed to believe that Frankenstein’s monster was buried under the O’Malley’s front lawn and now he’s surfacing to wreak havoc on this modest South Buffalo neighborhood? Who buried him? And how? And why? And come on, how dangerous could this creature be up to his neck in earth? I’d wager he’s largely immobile, making the only danger the grabbing of your foot and the biting of your ankle. This is the type of decoration that even Party City should be ashamed of.

If you can help me make sense of this, please do so.

Until then, I say to you producer of this absurd excuse for Halloween adornment, and you, purchaser and displayer of such: boo.

Prepare to have your mind blown, put back together, and blown again.

by matt low

Well here it is, kids. The holy grail of local, low budget, high insanity television spots. I present to you, George’s Appliance of lovely Niagara Falls, USA. I highly recommend “The Truck,” “BREAKING NEWS 'Close Encounter',” and “Stellar Delivery.” (The frazzled lady’s delivery of “And right on time.” makes me want to jump into a pile of gasoline-soaked broken glass.)

Go ahead. Try to make sense of it all. I’m certain your brain will bleed. But know this – George and his crew are certainly having fun.

Jeans are cool.

by matt low

So I was haunted by this spot when it appeared on my television a few weeks back. The raw imagery coupled with the jarring soundtrack makes it nothing less than a gripping piece of art. Then, right at the end, I found out it was for Levi’s. This let me down a bit. But now that I think about it, what logo would have satisfied me in the closing frames of the spot? Ford? Pepsi? Randy McFun’s Funfood Palace and Game Bar? Hardly. So why not good, old fashioned blue jeans? 

Now, this is a serious case of the Mondays.

By Chris Muldoon

We’ve all had awful, terrible, no-good days at work. Maybe you left your delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat bread sitting on the kitchen counter. Maybe the printer decided to become an evil genius hell-bent on making you feel like an idiot. Maybe your perfectly crafted headline turned out to be cornier than the world’s worst pickup line.

But whatever has happened (or will happen, for that matter) to you while on the job, it can’t be nearly as demoralizing as dispatching a 911 call about your own house burning down. Yes, that really happened. It’s like a twisted episode of Curb your Enthusiasm. Not only that, but one of the responding firefighters was the owner’s cousin. That, my friends, is one of the most unbelievable – and saddest – coincidences of all time.

I guess the moral of the story is all those office oddities could be a lot worse. Keep that in your mind next time someone forgets to refill the coffee pot.