Crowley Webb Blog

Best Thing I Found On A Monday Year-End Countdown Spectacular.

by Liz Maimone

Some people count down the year’s greatest songs, others tabulate the most Googled celebrities. But here on the Best Thing I Found On A Monday Year-End Countdown Spectacular, we’re going to look back at some of the greatest stuff that came out of the ad world this year.* I’m sure you didn’t see that coming. So here they are, as decided by yours truly, expert in awesomeness.

*By “this year,” I mean I saw them for the first time this year and that’s good enough for me.

Commercials
1,2,3,4,5,6

Websites
1,2,3

Print & Outdoor
1,2,3,4,5

Random Thought for Thursday.

by matt low

Be happy. 

Random Thought For Thursday.

by matt low

Raw fish is good.

Best Thing I Found On A Monday.

by Liz Maimone

Nice work, copywriter. Nice work.

P.S. No BTIFOAM next week. I’m on holiday, as the British like to say. But stop back on the 29th for the Best Thing I Found On A Monday Year-End Countdown Spectacular. It’s going to be awesome.

Random Thought for Thursday.

by matt low

Shell has new TV ads about how we need to find new places to drill for oil (undersea, in hard-t0-reach-places, and such). 

And here I was under the impression we needed to stop burning oil altogether. Thank you, Shell, for setting me straight that we just need to find more of it. 

Best Thing I Found On A Monday.

by Liz Maimone

First there was this. Now this.

Welcome to the 10th circle of hell. Advertising.

by Chris Muldoon

Question of the day – if the devil becomes a corporate shill, who does he sell his soul to? Because that’s the scenario in a campaign for the New Evangelization Television, a religious station in New York City. The Prince of Darkness (who’s a lot shorter and more mustachioed than I imagined) begs his minions to fight back against NET’s plight to end so-called evil-tainment. Ah, the old reverse-psychology trick. That Satan is a sneaky little bugger.

Now, I know what you’re thinking – why wasn’t God asked to be the spokesperson? Obviously, his schedule is completely booked helping elite athletes win Olympic medals and Super Bowls.

Random Thought for Thursday.

by matt low

Two since I was delinquent last week.

1. While he ended his impressive career just 30 wins shy of 300, Mike Mussina is most likely not a hall of famer. 

2. Squirrels are just rats with puffy tails. 

Thinkin’ ’bout Christmas!

by matt low

So every year around this time our pals at Lexus treat us to commercials featuring people who are obviously far better than us and having far better Christmases than us because they are receiving Lexi as Christmas presents when we are getting socks and the like. And I have to admit, I’ve always wondered who these people are. These people who are so awesome they received the Lexus of cars for Christmas. That is, until now. This year, Lexus has taken the wonder right out of this wonderful season by giving us a little window into a select group’s past.

First, we have video game kid. He got an Atari for Christmas, like many of us did. And yes, he played it and played it and played it like many of us did as well. Nothing out of the ordinary. Hmmmmm. By this logic, I should be getting a Lexus for Christmas, right? Maybe I’m not so different than – wait, does he look like he’s going to cry at the end there? Never mind.

Then we have big wheel kid. He got a big wheel for Christmas. He rode it all over the house. He loved that thing. I, myself, explicitly remember getting a Dukes of Hazzard big wheel for Christmas one year. And I spent hours in the basement that day wearing out its tires. Maybe I’m not so different than – wait, he has a goofy-looking goatee and a giant house. Never mind.

Which brings us to Ms. Pony. Every girl wants a pony. It’s part of being a girl, right? But it’s just one of those unattainable fantasies. Like the ability to fly or an endless keg of beer. It’s not something that actually comes to fruition. Except for her.

What’s amazing about this little girl is that what seems to be pleasing her most about her horse is her neighbor’s jealousy. Now that’s the spirit. And the woman she has become, feigning surprise and adoration for a gift clearly she knew she was getting all along because she asked for it over and over and over and even threatened divorce if her spouse didn’t come through – classic. I thankfully, have nothing in common with her.

I was going to wrap this whole mess up with something about how these awful people only remember gifts from their childhood Christmases and they only focused on material things and that’s why they grew up to be people who are treated to Lexi. But, you know, that’s what I remember too. I got the big wheel and the Atari, and the Nintendo, and the He-Man figures. I remember opening all those presents and playing with them the entire day through. That’s what defines Christmases for kids.

I guess I just don’t like seeing a person get a Lexus for Christmas. And I don’t really care who they are.

Oh, and I really don’t like that little girl.

Best Thing I Found On A Monday.

by Liz Maimone

Milk’s new golden boy.

Act now and get the travel-sized blog article for FREE!

by Chris Muldoon

If I had one complaint about working for Crowley Webb, it’s that we don’t do nearly enough infomercials. None, actually. Which is a shame, because I think I’d really excel in the genre.

First, I’d want the most bizarre product ever. I’m talking a gizmo so useless, it makes the Roll Up Electric Piano seem vital to everyday life.

Then, I’d rack my brain to come up with the greatest As-Seen-On-TV name ever. Perhaps it will be catchy, like ShamWow. Maybe I’ll go the descriptive route, à la The George Foreman Lean, Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine. Or if I’m feeling really saucy, I’ll totally disregard the concept of correct spelling, just like the geniuses behind SNORenz.

The next step is getting a spokesman. Everyone knows that Billy Mays is the hottest guy in the infomercial world right now. But I’d have to go with the wily veteran, Richard Simmons. How can you not buy something from a guy in spandex?

Now all that’s left is the pièce de résistance – the overly dramatic black-and-white disaster montage. Without it, you’d never know how backbreaking it is to mop a floor, or how dangerous an iron board can be.

There you have it – my loftiest career ambition. Guess I’ll just have to wait for the opportunity to arise. Too bad I can’t bring my dream to fruition with three easy payments of $29.99.