Crowley Webb Blog

Strange shirtless men invade the 190.

by matt low 

I’ve been intent on writing a blog about this Sherkston billboard for some time now. About how it’s utterly perplexing. I mean, seriously, look at that thing. 

Can someone possibly explain this monstrosity to me? Is it a challenge of some sort? As if, this guy is ready for summer and he’s glaring at you, judging you to determine if you are too. Or perhaps he’s not ready for summertime with his hint of a beer gut, outrageously pronounced nipples, nasty cleavage hair, and sad goggles. But are you? All that aside, if this guy is anywhere near Sherkston, I can assure you I would not consider spending one minute, let alone a day, a week, or my entire life, there. Thank you, no.

So as to the reason for the delay in writing this. Well, I had to remember to bring my camera and then manage to take a decent pic while doing 55. (I seriously do drive 55, ask anyone. Sometimes, even 50. Don’t judge me.) But when the lower board went up, I expedited my mission. Look at the two of them. What an odd spectacle I encounter each weekday. And as goofy as the Defiance board may be, it somehow makes the Shekston one all the more absurd. I absolutely find the tattooed shirtless man far less threatening and creepy than his companion above. You know you do too. Anyway, see you all at the Gil Lay Memorial Arena on June 13. 

Maybe boring isn’t all bad.

by Tricia Barrett 

I found an interesting article regarding blandness and CEOs. Check it out.

Everybody loves a good crazy-person rant.

by Chris Muldoon

Remember how awesome Saturday mornings were as a kid? No school, pancake breakfasts, and of course, hours upon hours of cartoons. Once you grow up though, the first day of the weekend loses some of its luster. For some reason, yard work isn’t nearly as fun as wearing pajamas all day long. But thankfully, I’ve found something that’s nearly as entertaining as (and possibly more juvenile and absurd than) an episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It’s called the “Steam” section of my town’s free weekly pseudo-newspaper. Think of the letters to the editor of a normal publication, but approximately seven million times more trivial. And I enjoy every second of it. Just in case you think I’m yanking your chain, here’s a particularly masterful entry that ran the other week.

“Marge, Kenmore: These conductors, or whoever runs these trains, are really ridiculous. They have to blow their horns so ridiculously at 1, 2 or 3 a.m. waking people up. Just because your butt is awake doesn’t mean that we want to be awake. If there is anyone on the railroad tracks where they need to blow their horn to get people off the railroad tracks shame on them if they are on the track and drunk and whatever else. Their parents obviously didn’t teach them anything. They deserve to die. I’m very serious about that. If you don’t know where you should be in the middle of the night, which is home, in bed and safe, instead of roaming on the railroad tracks or being so doped up and drugged up and drunk that you have to be on the tracks, then you don’t deserve to be here. I’m just aggravated.”

Every time I read that I can’t help but giggle, and fear for all of humanity.

Domino’s introduces pasta as a strange new pizza topping.

by matt low

Come on, Domino’s Pizza. Who are you trying to fool? Okay, fine. I apologize. In fact, send me over one of your new “bread bowls” (quotes necessary) filled with sauce and topped with cheese and pepperoni. Wait, never mind. I just remembered you are Domino’s.

Best thing I found on a Sunday.

by matt low

Each Sunday that I attend church with my daughter, I am afforded the pleasure of rediscovering the most holy of pamphlets, the church bulletin. Come on, where else can one learn about various chicken bbqs and meat raffles in the community, who’s on deck in the altar boy rotation, and the schedule of masses and confessions all in one place that isn’t the internet? Yes, this sacred little wonder is very industrious.

Aside from being useful as evidence to your parents that you attended mass, and as entertainment during the homily, your church bulletin also serves as a treasure trove of advertisements for local businesses. And as this is one medium Crowley Webb has yet to utilize, I decided to take a closer look at the peculiar advertisers who do.

Most ads are 1 X 1, with advertisers that range from pizza joints to heating and cooling specialists. Caruba Collision advertises here, most likely to give itself coverage during the Sabres’ off-season. Roots Collision is also here, apparently to keep up with the Carubas. I found a podiatrist, a dentist, a physical therapist, a radiologist, and two pharmacists. There are two car dealerships, one plumber, and two lawyers. And unsurprisingly, the vast majority of the advertisers are funeral parlors (who doesn’t think about death during mass?).

Sadly, only three ads feature unnecessary quotation marks, which, I’ll admit I was looking for in the first place. And the shortage there of, I must say, instilled in me a bit of respect for the church bulletin advertiser. So the next time you’re in a Catholic Church (I’m not entirely certain if they have bulletins in any other house of worship) be sure to pick one up. Where else are you going to find a tax preparation coupon this time of year?

Rolling Pebble.

by Jeff Pappalardo

I miss my big Rolling Stone magazine. They recently changed to a more standard 8 x 11ish size, and the design seems to have lost a little mojo. Not that the design is bad, to the contrary, but I miss opening to the center spread and going "wow". There's something about a large format that frees you to do bold, experimental design, especially with typography. I've been a subscriber since my sophomore year at Syracuse, when I was majoring in editorial design. Back then (1980), Rolling Stone was the place to go for design inspiration. And since then, especially through the Fred Woodward/Mark Seliger years, they've always produced stunning, impactful layouts. Until now.

Best Thing I Found On A Monday.

by Liz Maimone

Couple things today.

First, perhaps you’d like to be our friend on facebook? C’mon all the cool kids are doing it. And by cool kids I mean the people who work here and a couple of our friends. Hurry, before we get a complex.

Now this next thing I’m kind of bummed about because I can’t find the video anywhere online. Has anyone else seen that new Kool-Aid commercial? I’m talking about the one set on the beach where the big red jug (not a Baywatch reference) races the soda bottle. Perhaps this little screen shot will be enough to jog your memory. No? Well just thinking about it makes me laugh. I think it’s the music. If you still have no clue what I’m talking about then the last 13 seconds were probably a little annoying. Sorry. Anyway, keep your eyes peeled for it. It’s pretty funny. And if I ever find it, I’ll be sure to post it.

Nothing says bonding like shooting your coworker in the face with a laser.

 
There’s a few reasons our agency retreats are so fun. For starters, unless you consider eating pizza, driving go-karts, and playing skee ball work, you’re not expected to do anything productive all day. I could probably just stop there. But, of course, there’s also the time spent bonding with your coworkers – a rarity usually reserved for the company Christmas party. And believe it or not, LASERTRON is just as fun now as it was when you were eight and a half. Oh, and you best believe you’re walking away with some kind of neat little thing-a-ma-jig with your agency’s logo on it. And c’mon who doesn’t love embarrassing the new kids? I think it’s safe to say a fun time was had by all. Here are some pictures from the day.

1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10

Best Thing I Found On A Monday.

by Liz Maimone

Definitely the best thing I’ve seen today. Possibly this year. Maybe ever.

The pride of Pennsyltucky.

 

by Chris Muldoon

If there’s one thing I can count on at Crowley Webb (besides the local section of the paper being conveniently located in the men’s bathroom) it’s getting heckled any time my hometown state is mentioned. Yes, Pete, we do in fact have the internet in Pennsylvania, thank you very much.

Say what you want about the Keystone state, but there’s one aspect in which PA is light years ahead of New York – gluttony. Feast your eyes (and your growling stomach) on Shady Maple Smorgasbord. It’s 110,000 square feet of all-you-can-eat deliciousness. It’s not just a restaurant – it’s an amusement park of food. You wait in a bunch of lines, you usually feel disgusting when it’s all over, and, of course, there’s a gift shop.

But it’s so worth it. Imagine, buffet tables as far as the eye can see. Mouth-watering choices, ranging from your standard brunch fare to local PA Dutch delights, such as shoofly pie and scrapple (described by Wikipedia as “a savory mush of pork scraps and trimmings combined with cornmeal and flour, often buckwheat flour”).

Yum. I’m reaching for my Pepto-Bismol just thinking about it. So New York, you can have your Buffalo wings, garbage plates, and NY-style pizza. But my appetite will always have a different home – just a short drive from a town called Blue Ball.

Could it B a coincidence?

By Katie Hazel

I recently came across a few products in the home and garden aisle of my big box hardware store that made me look twice.

Are these products, all lacking at least one letter in their names, just trying to be clever? Or is there some sort of evil motive behind it? Could they be trying to avoid any legal wrangling that could occur by promising consumers less weeds, greener lawns, and plants that grow out of control? (“Well, to be fair, we didn’t say your weeds would be gone, we said ‘Gon.’’) I’d like to know Mor.

Of course a full-blown series was the next logical step for the behemoth that is Billy Mays.

by matt low

So I discovered this new show on, yes, Discovery Channel that stars the Crowley Webb blog’s favorite ad nut Mr. Billy Mays. It’s called Pitchmen and features our pal along with the lesser-known-by-me Anthony Sullivan. (Apparently, Mr. Sullivan has hawked such products as the Swivel Sweeper, the One Sweep, and the Taplight. But he doesn’t seem to bark like a maniac, so I question why he even bothers.)

Here’s the gist for those of you too lazy to click the convenient link above. These two guys listen to pitches (note the irony) of everyday inventors and decide if the product in question is “As Seen On TV” worthy. And you better believe it’s as riveting as it sounds.

To be fair, I only watched about 15 minutes of this show. But what did I learn in the short time before I drifted off to sleep and ultimately had nightmares about men with black beards trying to take money from me? Billy Mays is way creepier when he’s trying to act like a normal human being versus when he’s just an android shouting copy at you. Oh, and he has the blackest beard ever recorded on Earth. (As if I didn’t already know that.)